I really want Futurama to make less episodes about current (decade’s) events and more weird science concepts. The last episode had funny moments, but the main plot about crypto is so not interesting…..
(via lovely-v)
whenever i put on deep sea cthulhu ambience my girlfriend tries to initiate sex
“When I put on the fuck vibes my gf tries to fuck?” 🤔
STOP IT THERES NOTHING SEXUAL ABOUT DARK AMBIENCE AND EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT FAIL SHE TURNS OVER FROM ABOUT TO SLEEP TO TRYING TO FUCK!!! ITS CRAZY!!!
Have you considered that your gf may be some kind of abyssal creature and you’re basically just putting on deep-sea Marvin Gaye?
(via xxxdragonfucker69xxx)
i’m a taylor swift centrist. she makes perfectly tolerable pop music that i can’t imagine really getting into. dunno what it is about her that makes so many people go insane
i listen to one of these relatively bland and inoffensive but nonetheless well-crafted pop songs and everyone around me demands that i proclaim it a masterpiece or artistically bankrupt or whatever. i just want to grill for god’s sake
(via fireflysummers)
AUDIO! ON!
they are casting a level 7 Healing spell
(Source: reddit.com, via fireflysummers)
the pokemon game with the highest number of real life casualties is probably pokemon dash
This is Pokemon Go erasure
I forgot pokemon go existed but you know what. at the very least, pokemon dash had a higher percentage of injuries than pokemon go. with pokemon go you can just go on a walk and tap on your phone and not necessarily get hit by a car. but with pokemon dash, trying to play through the game means you almost definitely will injure yourself and/or your nintendo DS
pokemon dash is a DS racing game where you draw a straight line on the touchscreen. you can only move by drawing a line. and then you race by drawing lines. each course you have to draw hundreds if not thousands of lines, as fast as you can. this damages your wrist and also the DS. even trying to emulate this on a computer is probably going to injure you in some way.
pokemon dash is like a game that was design specifically to give people repetitive strain injuries
Grabbing people by their shoulders and shaking them until they can prove to me they know what “twink” means
I was listening to a bunch of LGBT+ ppl from Louisiana as a guest for a podcast and the topic of “twink” came up and they more or less were like, “yeah nowadays cishet ppl know saying ‘f*g’ raises eyebrows so they just say 'twink’ when they want to say 'f*g’ but it’s obvious what they want to say when they say the word,” and like, that’s basically it, right. Also they talked about lubed up jockstrap wrestling at a gay bar and how there was a cishet guy that participated because he just wanted to wrestle.
Nodding thoughtfully at this until you say “lubed up jockstrap wrestling” at which point I get so horny I think I hauve Covid
(via hagfishslime)